she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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