You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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