I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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