my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
