Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
