He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
