Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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