I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
