Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
