are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
