he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize