Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
