When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
