I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize