A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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