took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
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Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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