brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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