But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
