someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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