He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
