I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
