oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
