Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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