Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
