whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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