are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
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I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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