So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
