I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
