She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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