I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
