My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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