Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
