i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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