I think I won the penis lottery.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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