that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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