I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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