You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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