It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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