Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
