i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
