too bad you live with your parents still
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
