9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
