i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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