I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
