I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
