It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
