you would pick up someone in the library
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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