i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
