Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
