So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
