You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
