I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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