Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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