So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
