I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
