I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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