4 words: hood of his car
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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