This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
