How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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