is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
