is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
