The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
