I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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