Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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