To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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