honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
